Carlisle and the iPhone
by BibliophileBoleyn
Summary: It all started with an innocent Father's Day gift. What happens when an three hundred and sixty something year old vampire gets an iPhone? It is set between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
1. Father's Day

**AN-This is my first published fanfic, but not my first written one. This one just happened to be the one that was typed and edited first out of the few that I'm working on now. The idea for this story came out of a crazy IM session with a friend, and is being posted now because of an agreement between us (an incentive for her to read another book). This first chapter isn't the crackfic the rest of the story is, in fact it is kind of sentimental (I couldn't help but get sentimental, it was Father's Day and Carlisle is an introspective type of person). Also, there is a Peter Facinelli shout-out in the story, so virtual cookies if you can spot it! So, without further ado, on to the rest of the story.**

**Disclaimer-Sadly, I don't own Twilight, the characters, Apple or the iPhone. In fact, I don't even own many ideas from this story because my friend kept throwing gift ideas at me that were 10x better than mine. I did, however, come up with the idea of Edward's composition from when it was just him and Carlisle.**

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I came home today after the emergency surgery we had to perform because of internal bleeding from an automobile accident and brushed up on some procedures I hadn't performed lately in my study. I wasn't tired like most doctors would be after performing such an extensive surgery (there are a few benefits to being an immortal, unsleeping doctor), but I had already worked the maximum number of hours allowed by the hospital so I had to come home. Bella and Edward were getting married in a few months, and that created more than a little commotion in the house, which would be why I retreated directly to the study before Alice or Esme caught me and made me give my opinion on something. I could always use research as an excuse, which technically wasn't lying. I heard Edward chuckle a little downstairs and Bella asking what it was. Sometimes it was a little annoying to have a mind reader as a son.

"Hey! I resent that!" he said. Well, it was the truth, he doesn't like it when Alice uses her gift to find out what he is going to be doing, and that doesn't include thoughts or feelings. Edward was now explaining to Bella what was going on.

"I think I need to go help him research. You never know, I could probably use some more knowledge of the medical world. I'll be going now," Bella said. I heard her stand up. I knew she was trying to get away from Alice, but I figured she would realize it was a futile attempt. A moment later I heard a _thump_ indicating that she had realized that very fact and sat back down to listen to more of Alice's ramblings. I shook my head, I knew what it was like to be trapped by Alice when she got going. I didn't hear a car leave for a few hours, and then I waited until I heard Alice going into her room, and then I finally left my study. Edward was gone, taking Bella home, Jasper was playing a video game (who told the History Channel that it was good idea to make a game where you could be the South, I mean, the kid had played it for three days straight when he first got it), and Emmett and Rosalie were in the garage. Esme was cleaning in the kitchen that had been almost never used just a few years ago.

"How was work today? You were in your study before I got a chance to ask," my loving wife asked.

"We had a serious single car accident that resulted in a long surgery, then I had to leave. The beginning of the day was pretty slow. I want to go in early tomorrow, though," I said.

"Honey, you took tomorrow off. You have had it scheduled for weeks, remember? We have stuff to do for the wedding and we need everyone there," she reminded me. I had forgot. Was it really that important that I be there? I knew that I would have more than one person after me if I asked that, though. I have tried to explain to them that I worked Saturdays for a reason, but I guess if other people, like maybe Charlie, were going to need to come, then Saturday would be the best day for it. Alice was going to make sure everything was perfect in her opinion and, because I knew my daughter, I knew that she wouldn't let anything get in the way of that.

"I must have forgotten myself, but now I remember taking it off. Dr. Cooper is covering for me. What are we going to be doing?"

"Oh, a little of this and a little of that. You know how Alice is, she probably has a bunch of things planned," Esme said.

"Yes, I do know how Alice is-" I said, but was cut off by a voice from upstairs.

"Carlisle!"

"You should know that I was just going to say that I do know how Alice is, she is very determined and wants to do things correctly." It was only a little lie, but Jasper still snickered from the computer, he felt my deceit. At least Edward wasn't here for positive proof. I heard the Volvo coming down the driveway just a few minutes later. Then I heard him tell Rosalie something about the 'wretched truck' still working, but I wasn't really listening. I was more interested in coming up with ways to get out of tomorrow.

"Don't even think about calling in an emergency, Carlisle!" I heard from upstairs. Edward came into the kitchen, followed by Emmett.

"I'm sorry I missed Bella today. It looked like you were very busy and I didn't want to disturb you," I said to Edward.

"Sure. She might have been happier if you had," he said.

"Regardless, you can inform her if she really wants to study medicine, I'd be happy to arrange it," I said. I tried to keep my face composed at the though, we both knew that was her excuse to get away. "What were you making her do anyway? I could hardly imagine what would make her want to leave bad enough she would willingly come listen to lectures about medicine and anatomy."

"Bella wanted to learn medicine? She would probably cut her arm off just trying," Emmett said. Edward halfheartedly threw one of Alice's thick magazines at his head, which Emmett easily caught in his hand, but he was smiling and chuckling along with Emmett. In all fairness, as much as Bella has been to the hospital, she should know a lot of stuff anyway. Edward started to frown, but I quickly thought "_I meant in her life. I know you have looked at her medical record, and it was pretty thick before she moved here. Did you not see the one summer where she got a sprained ankle three times? Do you not remember all of the healed contusions from the X-Ray when she was almost crushed by the van?" _It was true, Bella's file had plenty of bulk, and quite a bit was before her junior year.

"Alright, I accept that. I sometimes can't understand how she made it to seventeen anyway. She should have had her own room in ER," Edward said.

"Don't you have to get back to watch her sleep?" Emmett said, raising his eyebrows. Edward shook his head in disgust, probably at what Emmett was thinking. He nodded at my thought.

"I am going over a little later tonight because she has something she has to do. She is fixing Charlie food for tomorrow, he is going fishing and she wanted to pack him a nice lunch."

"And you are letting her cook alone, with sharp things?" Emmett asked. I shook my head. Someday my son might learn a little tact, but I doubted it.

"I agree," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"When are you leaving?" Esme asked.

"At 10:45, but he won't go in until 11 o'clock," Alice chimed in, coming down the stairs.

"What time do we need to be ready tomorrow?" I asked.

"Oh, Bella is going to be here at 10:29 in the morning, so before then. It is going to be storms, though, so we could go play baseball after we are done. I think you should go play chess with Jazz right now," Alice rattled off, dragging Edward and Emmett up the stairs and shouting for Rosalie.

"There is nothing odd about that at all," I said sarcastically as I walked from the kitchen to the living room. Jasper had a chess board set-up already. I should have known better than to say what I said next, but apparently my foresight and memory of my children was lacking at the moment. "So did the Confederates win on your game?"

I was then launched into a full explanation of every single strategy and move in the game battle, and then how they compared to the real decision and how his choices would have been better. You would think that after almost sixty years with him, I would have learned not to ask Jasper anything about the war or even anything closely **resembling** anything related to it. The explanation even went into how the South could have won the war if the battle's outcome was different. Not mentioning the Civil War should be an official rule in our house. As Jasper continued to go on and on, I started thinking of other rules we should have in the house. I started to remember other instances when I thought we needed official rules. Emmett and Rosalie should be kept away from each other when we have visitors, the last time Peter and Charlotte stopped by (right about the time Edward saved Bella in Port Angeles) it was a little embarrassing, to say the least. It was definitely one time when I wished I couldn't hear so well. I was only mildly surprised that my feelings embarrassment didn't seem to phase Jasper at all as his story continued uninterrupted.

I think that there should definitely be a rule against Jasper using his gift for his own enjoyment. The time where he used certain - er, romantic - feelings on Edward and Emmett hadn't been nice either. It never failed to amaze me the lengths that my children would go to laugh at each other. It didn't help when three of them were particularly gifted, either. Edward endured his own torture at their minds, rather than their hands, when they decided it was time to make him want to throw his gift out the window. Alice was known to be overly aggressive when it came to clothing. It hadn't escaped my notice that Bella was being increasingly forced into clothing she didn't like because Alice conveniently forgot to grab the right things when she packed her bags, so she had to wear the clothing that Alice had in her closet, already bought for Bella. Perhaps there could be some way to limit the frequency of Alice's "mistakes".

Emmett deserved his own set of rules. There were so many ways he could, and does, torture his siblings and Esme and myself. There was the numerous ways that he destroyed Esme's furniture, whether it was through accidents or "accidents" (in which he was really trying to get the other children blamed). He had damaged enough furniture to decorate every royal residence in the United Kingdom and more. When Emmett decided that it was getting too boring, bad things tended to happen. Sometimes they were **very** bad things. The almost constant jokes about Edward and Bella were the very least of the things he did.

I continued to think about my other two children, who were both upstairs. Edward, in general, didn't do that much. Now that he had Bella he always had better things to do. He tended to overreact when something involved Bella, though. He had helped Emmett's record of broken furniture quite a lot when goaded. Both Jasper and Edward could be tortured by their siblings through their gifts, and I believe that most of the time, Emmett was behind it. Sometimes it seemed only fair to let Edward get back for that sometimes. Edward was really protective of a few things (i.e., Bella, his Volvo, Bella, his family, and Bella), and when those things were threatened, he tended to lash out. There was the time that Emmett had said something in his head that made Edward mad (take a guess at what the subject was) and Emmett's precious Jeep had suffered the consequences. Did you known that Jeeps don't like being painted pink and smashed into trees? Bella, who I have considered a daughter since Edward admitted he loved her, didn't require rules as of now. I had no doubt that would change once she was changed, but as of now, she didn't get involved in many of the other children's mischief.

Rosalie's attitude garnered its own set of rules. She tended to not hold back anything when she was mad, particularly at Edward. She knew exactly what to say that could push his buttons, and get him in trouble. More recently that had specifically included Bella, but that had gotten a little better after Italy, and even more after Bella had stayed here the night that Edward had her "kidnapped". Those little modifications didn't count when she was really mad, no matter how small the reason was. There was nothing spared when it came to that. How could you even put rules on that? Maybe we really should talk about this more as a family. I could almost picture everyone's reaction. Alice and Edward would see it coming, possible try to talk us out of it, and then sit there glumly. Bella wouldn't have a problem with it. Jasper would probably try to use his gift to get me to believe what they were saying. Rosalie would fume and try to storm away. Emmett would probably try to find some way around the specifics.

Jasper seemed like he was beginning to slow down, and I listened as he finished.

"So it would have been so much more beneficial to have just listened to the first order," he concluded. I nodded and acted interested. Sometimes I felt bad for not listening when my children started talking about things like this, but I was quite frankly happy I was able to tune it out this time. I remembered the day that Jasper had found out that the North had won the Civil War. We had almost had to move on the first day in a new place, the first time he went to high school in fact. How he had went that many years not realizing it was beyond me.

"So let's get started, shall we?" Jasper asked. He flourished his had at the chess board in front of us. I had completely forgotten the reason I had been forced to endure the hour and a half long discussion. I nodded and made the first move. I reminded myself to let Edward suffer next time Charlie called when we were supposed to be gone and he answered the phone (Alice definitely had something to do with when that happened anyway, she could see when he would call, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind getting a free chance to laugh at Edward).

Jasper and I played four games of chess before Alice came downstairs. Emmett and Rosalie had went to their room, and Edward was already at Bella's. Alice informed me that Esme was going over some plans for the cottage on the property that Edward and Bella would move into after they were married.

"I am going to my study to read again," I said. Once there, I picked up a book and settled in to read it for the rest of the night. I knew that once Esme began on the plans there wouldn't be anything to stop her. I heard Edward enter the house and checked the clock, it was 7:30 AM. He didn't leave immediately, which meant that Bella was most likely spending time with Charlie before he left. I then heard Edward go downstairs, to the living room, and sit at the piano. He started to play and it reminded me of all of the ways Bella had changed him, for the better. I could remember what he was like right after I changed him. I had wondered so many times if I had made the right choice, that was until he found Bella. The piece that he played was one that I hadn't heard in a long time, it was the first one he ever composed after he was changed. I listened to it as he played, remembering the first time I heard it. It was before we had Esme, when it had just been us. We were living fairly apart from civilization still because of his gift, but we were going to move back in a few months (we were going to Ashland). I lost myself in memories for a while until the song ended and he began to play Esme's favorite, which finished and turned into Bella's lullaby. These three pieces together showed just how much he had changed. My son had grown in ways I could never imagine, and in ways I could have only hoped for.

He ended Bella's lullaby and sat there quietly for a moment before getting up. He left and I knew exactly where he was headed. I decided I had better get ready as I walked into Esme's and my empty bedroom. The rest of the house was oddly quite, which should have been unsettling in and of itself except I was still mentally recovering from Jasper's one-sided conversation last night. I went back to my book until I heard Bella's truck, and decided to go down and meet my son and daughter. I was sure that I wasn't the only one reluctant to be dragged through whatever Alice had planned today, and Bella was the one most likely to share this view. Jasper would do whatever Alice wanted and Emmett would be happy to see Bella do something he considered funny. To be fair, I know that Bella wants the wedding to go smoothly, and I do, too, its just that sometimes Alice, my lovely daughter, gets overzealous.

"That's one way to describe Alice," Edward said as they walked in the door.

"What?" Bella asked.

"He said Alice tended to get 'overzealous,'" my son explained to his fiancé. He smiled when I said "fiancé". _Well, Edward, it is true. I am very proud of you and you should know that. You and Bella are truly perfect for each other and even though I already consider her my daughter, and have for a while, I can't wait until it is official._ He nodded his head in thanks at me.

"So, do either of you know what Alice has planned today?" I asked.

"Truthfully, I'm never really sure what Alice is doing. I just do what she tells me to do," Bella said with a smile.

"We all do that most of the time, too, love," Edward said, and I had to agree with him. We all tended to just agree with Alice to keep her placated, especially when it involved the wedding. "On the bright side, Alice did call me earlier and say that we should go to the clearing to play baseball first. She said that the storm is only going to be around in the morning and we could take care of whatever we needed after that."

"Really?"I asked, raising my eyebrows. It was unusual for Alice to reschedule things, ever, especially when it involved the wedding.

"I wouldn't be the one lying about this, would I?" Edward said, which was true.

"Then I guess we should go before we have one mad pixie after us," said Bella, earning a laugh from all of us. _She fits perfectly in this family_, I thought.

"She sure does fit perfectly," Edward said, wrapping his arm around Bella's waist. She looked at him for moment and smiled. We took the Jeep, which happened to be the only car left, for whatever reason. We got to the clearing and I was taken by surprise. My whole family was huddled together, and I knew immediately something was going on. It wasn't until they moved that I noticed they had been hiding a banner that made my unbeating heart clench. It read "Happy Father's Day, Dad". I started to walk again, not even realizing I had stopped. I had obviously forgotten that today was Father's Day. I don't think there was anything that could have diminished the joy I felt. My family stood beaming, all together around the banner. Edward and Bella stood beside me as I approached them. I hugged everyone as I said thank you. There wasn't anything I could think of that would make this better.

Apparently my family knew one thing. All seven of them took turns telling me what I meant to them. I would have been crying if it was possible. My normally jovial family was serious as they each spoke in turn (even Emmett). My wife thanked me for her new life and an amazing family and the love we have, which was beautiful like her, but I think it was Edward who said what really surprised me. He thanked me, for the first time, for saving him and giving him a life with Bella. He thanked me for accepting him back, twice, into the wonderful family we have. He erased all doubt that I still held on to at times. I wondered if he was trying to remind of it all earlier when he played those three pieces, one for his new life, one for another amazing mother and family, and the last one for the indescribably marvelous woman he had found. He answered my thoughts with a grin that proved I was correct. I held my wife while everyone was speaking. I had wondered slightly why Bella would be here today, but she answered it when she spoke. She said that she had spent the morning with Charlie and felt like she had two fathers already, and she wanted to spend the day with both of them. I am not sure that I had ever been this happy and honored ever. Then my exuberant daughter broke the calm with one word.

"Presents!" I looked around questioningly children, who were all pulling out wrapped presents that I hadn't noticed before. I was more than honored that they were even recognizing the day, let alone the beautiful things they had said. Now they were giving me presents?

"Are you going to turn in to Bella?" Edward joked, making Bella blush. I shook my head.

"I just mean that I more than honored that you consider me your father. I love you all," I said, and again I would be crying if it was possible.

"Ours first!" Emmett said. Rosalie rolled her eyes, but you could tell the love she held for him.

"Our is actually already in your Mercedes. It is a satellite radio and enhanced stereo system," she said. I gave them another hug as I thanked them.

"Bella's and mine is right here," Edward said, handing me what looked like a photography folder. "Mom helped us set them up and shoot them." I opened the folder and was shocked for a minute. There was a vintage photograph with Edward and Bella dressed in authentic early 1900s garb, exactly as it would have been, and then there was modern photograph next to it. There were more photographs in both styles with a few different poses. Again, I hugged them both. It would never get old to say that they were perfect for each other, really like how all of the children are, but Edward and Bella had something special that not many people found. Edward looked into my eyes as I pulled away and I didn't need his gift to know what he was thinking, _thank you._

I was surprised that Alice hadn't insisted on hers first, but by the time I did get to her she was practically jumping up and down in excitement. Jasper had a smile that may have been partially due to his wife's giddiness. She handed me a box wrapped in red wrapping paper. I opened it slightly cautiously (it was Alice after all) until I saw it was just a box. With all the paper off, I examined the box. It had a silver apple on it that I knew had some meaning to an electronics company because I remembered seeing it on a few devices at the hospital. The box said "Apple 16GB iPhone". I looked over the list of features with a smile on my face. Now I remembered the phone, many of the doctors at the hospital had been excited to get them recently. From what I understood about them it would be convenient to be so in contact, especially with the hospital. I hugged Alice and Jasper as I thanked them.

"There is something else. We already opened it and customized it a bit," Alice said. I cocked my head to the side at that. "Open and see it for yourself!"

I did as my daughter told me to do. The phone that was in the box had a glossy black front, and when I turned it over I saw that on the back the family crest was etched. I looked at them and smiled.

"There are also some of Edward's compositions loaded as ringtones," Alice added. My children were truly amazing.

"On that note, let's play ball!" Edward said. I ended up on a team with Alice and Emmett, playing against Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper. This game was drastically different than the last one we played. Today everyone was happy and we weren't fighting. Bella and Rosalie were actually getting along most of the time. Edward was happy, a lot happier, and getting married in just a few months. Life couldn't get better with this great family I had.


	2. We Need A Plan

**AN-This chapter was really fun to write. I wrote from 3 different POVs, so it might seem a little scattered, but it was fun to write. Originally, there was a little paragraph at the beginning of this chapter from Carlisle's POV, set two days ahead of this chapter. I was trying to set up the difference in tones and thinking, but it ended up making it more confusing because I realized by the middle of this chapter that there was going to be more than one more chapter to this story. I think, as of now, there is going to be atleast two more chapters, but like I said, sometimes the characters in my head get a little carried away and tend to make things longer than expected. Like in this chapter, it was supposed to end right after Alice had he vision, but then with the help of Bella, Alice got a plan. We all know that Alice's plans take over, and she has now taken the story in an entirely new direction. I still have some funny details that I am going to work into the end (which will be in Carlisle's POV) that you will see in time. As for now, sorry for babbling in this annoyingly long AN and thanks for all of the story and author alerts! I'm really honored that something that started out as a complete joke has garnered that. I would also like to encourage people to review with a little bribery:**_if you review, I'll give you a little sneak peek of what's coming up_**. I also have to give a shout out to the friend that I have mentioned before, who deserves a lot of credit, because she came up with all but one of the code names. Thank you CullenFreak93 for all the ideas you have given me and for being there at 2AM when I really couldn't figure out what to call Emmett and I needed someone to bounce ideas off of. Oh, and bonus points to anyone who catches the Peter Facinelli reference that is also in this chapter, I'll give you a hint, it comes in Carlisle's POV. Put it in your review if you know it!  
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**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, any of the characters, Apple, iPhone, Twitter, Facebook, Disney, Jaguar, or any of the other recognizable things in this story. If I did, do you really think I would spend so much time writing and researching for fanfics that I make no money off of? Well, I probably still would, but that doesn't mean I do own any of that cool stuff. I do happen to use Twitter, and I'm sorry for the kinda bad stereotype that I used in the story. Trust me, I love Twitter, I was tweeting as I wrote part of this :) Now, on with the story!**

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**Carlisle POV**

Yesterday was Father's Day, and it was one of the best days of my life. My caring children had planned it perfectly and done more than I could ever imagine. We spent the day all around each other just having a good time. The baseball game went great (my team won) and we had went back to the house. Edward played his piano for a little bit, the boys had wrestled, Jasper and Emmett debated over something, Alice and Edward played a one move game of chess, and Bella fell, so all in all, it was a normal day in the Cullen house.

Today everyone was spread throughout the house. I heard Bella and Alice upstairs, probably discussing more wedding plans. Jasper and Emmett were playing some video game when I went through the living room. As I was walking by I heard Edward in the kitchen fixing Bella lunch. _Are you very busy right now, Edward?_

"No, I'm almost done. Did you have something you wanted to talk about?"

_I have a small question about the other day that I wanted to ask you._

"Sure, what is it?"

_Well, since you all had everything else planned out so smoothly, I was wondering if Jasper's whole monologue was pre-planned, too?_ Edward laughed.

"I was waiting for you to ask that. I heard what you were thinking for part of the time before I left to go to Bella, I think the rules might be a good idea. To answer your question, yet it was pre-planned. He was supposed to find something to talk about that took your attention away from everything else going on in the house, and it worked. While Jasper may get carried away a little bit when talking about the war, that was entirely intentional. You were supposed to drown him out. It really worked better than expected. With Alice, we could predict what you would say so that we could have a big speech ready, but even without her you are more than a little predictable," he said with a smile, "You care about us, and you would ask how his game went if you saw him playing it. That is predictable. It is the same as when you ask Rose how the cars are when you see her in the garage. You are just that kind of person."

_Do you all realize that you never fail to amaze me? _He smiled. _However, you couldn't think of another way to distract me other than making me listen to that?_

"Well, if we had thought about it I'm sure we could have come up with another way. It probably wouldn't have been as fun for us, though."

_Of course, I should have known. How is it going upstairs now?_

"Well, she hasn't tried to use you to get out of it again, has she? It isn't too bad, I think Alice is intentionally making it a little harder than it needs to be."

_It wouldn't be Alice if she didn't._

"Very true. I have to go save Bella from her now."

_I am going to the hospital anyway. There were a few patients I wanted to check on._

I left the house in the Mercedes, listening to my new radio, which was set to a 16th Century music station. My children really were great sometimes. I went to my office and checked on the patients I had wanted to. The woman who had the internal bleeding was doing much better and was expected to go home within the next week. I did some paperwork I had left undone and then went to the break room (not that I needed it, but I had to make appearances). I decided that as I was sitting down, pretending to drink a coffee, I would get out my recent present from Alice and play with it for a little bit. Dr. Cooper, who had filled in for me the other day, came over to see what I was doing.

"Wow. I didn't know you had one of those, Carlisle," he said.

"Oh, I just got it on Father's Day from my kids. That's why I needed the day off, they had the whole day planned."

"That must have been a great Father's Day. How much have you done on it?"

"Oh, not much yet. I have wanted to check a few things out but I really haven't done much. We were kind of busy, still preparing from my son's wedding and all."

"Do you have a Twitter?"

"No. What is it?"

"It is the most amazing, new social networking trend to hit the net! You can type out anything up to 140 characters and send it out. People can follow you and see what you say and you can follow other people. There are a ton of celebrities with Twitter accounts, too. They can give you inside information on stuff."

"That sounds, er, interesting," I said neutrally. Some people really must be crazy. "I might check that out later. Right now I have to go check on a patient. I'll talk to you later, Coop." I got out of the break room quickly. I really didn't have a patient I needed to check on immediately, I had just wanted to get out, so I went to my office to check out my phone in private.

There were a lot of features to check out. I had learned how to text message a while ago because of the kids, so I was familiar with that. I had an e-mail for the hospital, so I figured out how to access that. Then I decided to follow Dr. Cooper's advice and check out this whole "Twitter" thing. I went ahead and signed up for an account and checked out what the whole thing was about. It was actually kind of interesting. I started following a few celebrities I had heard of. This was going to be fun.

**Alice POV**

This vision cannot be real. Carlisle signed up for a Twitter, really?

"Alice tell me that was a joke," Edward said, from the other side of my room.

"I wish I could," I said.

"What? What did you see?" Bella asked. _Should we tell anyone? Maybe we should wait. It's not like the world is ending or anything. It could be harmless. We shouldn't worry, I think._

"Well, Bella, Alice saw Carlisle doing something but has decided it might be best if we all don't start freaking out because it might not be bad. Carlisle was in his office at the hospital and decided to start checking out things on his iPhone. He decided to sign up for a Twitter account," Edward said. Bella's brows scrunched together.

"Let me get this straight. Carlisle, our over three hundred and sixty year-old father, who is a doctor, signed up for a Twitter account," she said.

"Yes, it appears that way," I said. "I hear that a lot of people who start those accounts just do it like one time and then they stop, though."

"Alice, can I ask you a question? You are a psychic! Does it look like he is going to stop?" Bella asked. _She sure is getting bossier_, I thought. Edward smiled and nodded his head.

"Well, actually, as of right now, he is just looking at other people's Twitters. He hasn't decided if he likes it or not. Until he decides that, I can't figure out what he is going to do," I said.

"Maybe it won't be that bad. It's not like anyone is going to figure out it is really Carlisle," Edward said. _I hope so_, I thought.

**Carlisle POV**

I can't believe this Twitter thing is really so cool. I'm constantly checking to see what other people are saying. I was really loving my iPhone. I could update instantly, from anywhere. I already had 645 followers and it had only been a day and a half. I could talk to so many people at once. The phone rarely left my hand when I wasn't working on a patient. There were so many things you can do on an iPhone! Those Apple people really knew what they were doing.

**Edward POV**

"Okay, I think that everyone knows why we are here," I said. My family, minus our father, was sitting around the dining room table like we normally did for family meetings. "We have to do something about it. Alice has already seen it, it isn't going to get any better. He is going to get more and more addicted. There has to be a way to stop that. Does anyone have any ideas?"

"We could ask him to quit," Emmett said.

"Nope, he gets really mad and then sends the Volturi friend invitations, but I'm not sure how that is connected," Alice said.

"We could try to just take away the phone," Rosalie said.

"We were going to do that until I saw that he starts getting online to tweet and then gets a Facebook, too. That is a disaster," Alice said.

"There has to be something we can do. I have never seen him like this before," I said. We all sat around quietly for a moment.

"Bella, keep thinking whatever it is that you are right now," Alice said, making all of our heads turn to my fiancée. "It will work! Bella, you are brilliant."

"I agree, but can I know what you are talking about?" I asked. I couldn't understand the plan that was working out in Alice's head.

"Well, I was thinking that if we can get the phone away from him, and find a way to make it crash so it seems like it broke instead of just taking it away," my love said.

"From what I see, if we do it right, he won't get on the computer, instead he will realize how bad it has gotten and go back to the old Carlisle," Alice said brightly. I could see it working out in her mind, it was perfect. It would take time to set up and get just right, but I think we can do it. We worked out details and compared various scenarios, always running the final say by Alice. Once we had everything down it was time to figure out exactly what we would need to complete it. Of course, with Alice, a few things went overboard. Only she would insist that we needed code names, and of course Emmett seconded it. I was focused on trying to debate them out of the idea, but I gave up when I realized it would be a futile attempt.

"What do you propose our code names be?" I asked, exasperated. I could hear the thoughts going through my siblings heads at lightning speed. I could only shake my head at some of them.

"I think Bella should come up with yours," Alice said with a grin. My Bella immediately blushed, and I wished beyond wishing that I could read her mind. What was so embarrassing about a codename for me? She shot a look at Alice before she looked back at me.

"Well, its not exactly my own idea. You should know my theories aren't always original," she said, reminding me of that night so long ago in Port Angeles.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked, now truly intrigued. She mumbled so softly that, had I not been a vampire, I probably would have missed it.

"Masochistic lion," she said. I smiled her favorite grin. Trust my love to bring that up in the middle of a crisis.

"Then do I get to come up with Bella's?" I asked Alice, never taking my eyes off Bella, who smiled, because she had to know what was coming. Alice nodded, she would obviously know what was going to happen and knew what it meant (I assume my whole family must know what it means by now).

"Stupid lambs?" I said it as more of a question, giving her the chance to refuse, even though I knew she wouldn't. She was the one who had said it first, after all. She just smiled brighter.

"Of course," she said.

_I doubt those two are going to quit the whole lovey-dovey thing for a while, though I can't see how she will be able to stand to keep it up with Edward after they are married, it is Edward after all. Of course, it wasn't like they have ever followed the norm. _(Emmett)

_I know that they may not understand you two, Edward, but I know what I feel, as I have told you before. You should feel what she is right now_, Jasper thought to me. I could experience a few gifts through other's minds, and Jasper's was one that I could. Sometimes he had to turn it on me to make me believe it, but right now I settled for just feeling it. There was joy, contentment, and a practically staggering amount of love emanating from Bella. _Just like you_, he continued. I shot him a smile of thanks before continuing.

"Now that the two love birds have picked out their code name, lets the rest of us get ours," Rosalie said, trying to act annoyed. I knew from her thoughts that she didn't really think it was that bad, so it ruined her effect. "Should we just throw out ideas for the rest of us who don't have readily picked out names?" The rest of us nodded.

"Oh, Emmet, that is perfect for Jasper!" Alice said. Sometimes it really ruined the effect when there was a psychic and a mind reader at meetings like this. I heard it in his thoughts and could only shake my head.

"Is it like this everytime?" Bella stage whispered to Jasper, who smiled and nodded.

"Even if you can block Edward, as soon as you make the decision Alice knows it, and then he does, too," Jasper said. "So, what is this amazingly perfect nickname that Emmett has picked out for me?"

"Big Tex!" Emmett said, proudly. I had seen Jasper's reaction in Alice's vision, and it was the same in real life. Of course he loved it. He may live in 21st century Washington now, but he will always be the young, Confederate soldier from Houston in his heart. I could see Bella fighting the urge to laugh, which made me want to do the same. I didn't have to be able to read her mind to know what she was thinking right now.

"Oh, I have one for Alice!" my love said, excited. I waited to see it in Alice's mind, but somehow it wasn't coming through, at least not definite. What I saw in Alice's mind made me proud of my fiancée. She was intentionally thinking of many different possibilities and not choosing one. It worked up until a second before it came out of her mouth, and I was proud it lasted that long.

"Tinker Bell!" Bella said as Alice grimaced.

"I am not some tiny flying fairy who has been misrepresented and over-commercialized by Disney, and is vindictive and spiteful and can convince people to do mean things!" Alice angrily spat out quickly. We all tried to hold our laughter in until Emmett finally failed and erupted in laughter, causing everyone else but Alice to do the same. "Jasper! You're not even going to stop laughing long enough to back me up on this! How could you?"

"I'm sorry, darling, but you know that we all of the emotions they are projecting that I can't stop myself," Jasper said, and the statement was broken by laughter he couldn't control. "And to be truthful, dear, I could kind of see a bit of her in you."

"Eh! How can you say that?" Alice screeched.

"Alice, calm down! Think of her good qualities. She is brave and loyal and helpful, not to mention a little sassy." Only Jasper could get away with calling Alice sassy, and I knew him saying that would make her accept the name that she had just called over-commercialized. Her speech sounded a little odd, as if she had given a lot of previous thought to Tinker Bell's character and what Disney has done with it. I personally didn't want to know any more about it.

"How about Emmett's name be Teddy Bear, because we all know that's what he is," Alice said, obviously trying to take some of the heat off of her. I shook my head.

"I think Emmett's codename should be Ace of Spades. It's the highest card in the deck," Rosalie said.

"It's also the death card," Jasper said with a laugh. Emmett apparently hadn't heard him, or he had and didn't care.

"I like it!" he said. It was so Emmett to like a name that had to do with gambling. I was personally surprised it didn't have something to do with grizzlies.

"Well I think Rose should be Jaguar," Emmett said with a grin. All of us but Bella chuckled, we knew the story behind the name. Rosalie had been on her way to hunt some jaguars that had somehow gotten loose in Tennessee, and they were wrecking havoc on the local wildlife so she decided that she wanted to take some time away to hunt something a little more interesting than what we were getting in Appalachia (where we were living at the time). In 1959, as an anniversary present, Emmett had got Rosalie a Jaguar XK150 convertible. Bella looked at me because we were all laughing and I promised to explain it later.

"So now that this foolishness is over, can we get back to the plan?" I asked. The others nodded and leaned into the table as we went over every detail again.


	3. Emmett is Nefarious

**A/N: I'm sorry that it took this long to post the chapter. I actually had it written and forgot to edit and post it. Amazingly, I actually came up with a lot of this chapter on my own, but I have to thank CullenFreak93 for her continued support. This story would be no where without the 3 AM IM chats where I would bounce idea after idea off of her. I stuck with 1 POV this chapter. There is a portion of IM chats between the Cullen kids, and I have that underlined and the person who is talking is in bold. I could have come up with screen names, but I decided that the code names were enough. I honestly had a whole AN planned and can't remember half of it, so I guess I'll stop blabbing. Obviously, Carlisle is OOC, but that is the nature of the story. I hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight, Twitter, Apple, or any other recognizable thing in this story. I don't even own _Wanderer above the Sea of Fog_, but it looks like a cool painting. I do own a tattered purple notebook that has a ton of unfinished stories and plot lines that will eventually lead to no where. :)****

* * *

Bella POV**

The plan was in place. All I had to do was distract Carlisle long enough for Edward to get the iPhone out of his office and to Jasper. It was a simple task, right? How hard could it be to distract my three hundred and something year-old vampire soon-to-be father-in-law? Oh, right, pretty hard. Why did they pick the human, who couldn't read minds or see the future? I could almost hear Emmett say my next thought, _because it's funny. _So, according to the plan, I was supposed to go to Carlisle and ask to talk about any painting in the house. Emmett had thought it would be better to ask him to leave the house and talk about my upcoming marriage and what it entailed, but that was shot down by more than one of us. Jasper was the one who came up with the idea to ask about a painting, so that Carlisle was drawn out of the office and Edward could slip in without being noticed. Alice said Carlisle would leave the iPhone on his desk, and we were all hoping nothing changed that.

I sucked in a deep breath as Edward rubbed my back. Carlisle was sitting in his office, where he said he was doing paperwork for the hospital that he had let pile up. The old Carlisle never had excess paperwork. Of course, the old Carlisle didn't lie about working to tweet on Twitter. How did we know that was what he was doing? Alice had her laptop out and we all had a false accounts set-up where we were following Carlisle and got updates from him sent to our phones, so we could monitor what he was saying. It was highly doubtful that he would say anything that revealed the secret, but right now he wasn't in his right mind. I was awaken from my reflections by the buzz of my phone vibrating in harmony with the phones of the five vampires in the room with me. I looked at my phone to see it was a text message from - _No, no, no! _- Twitter alerting me to Carlisle's latest status update.

"We have to do it NOW," Rosalie said, her voice barely audible to my human ears. I nodded my head, as did everyone else in the room. It was time to put our elaborate plan into action to prevent any further damage. I stood up with another deep breath and walked out of Edward's room with encouraging faces from my family. I tried to rationalize what I was about to do. I was going to purposely trick my father-in-law into thinking that I was interested in some painting on the opposite end of the first floor from his office. I was really doing it for the greater good, though. I shook my head, sometimes I think I seriously spend too much time around my nefarious brother, I was now rationalizing lying to Carlisle. I was definitely starting to pick up some things from Emmett, I thought with a shudder.

I was approaching Carlisle's office now, and I tried to keep my breathing normal. It wouldn't help if I ruined everything because I was obviously nervous. I tried to remind myself that it was just Carlisle, and that I really was just asking about a painting. I actually managed to convince myself of it by the time I was knocking on the door.

"Come in, Bella," Carlisle said, somewhat distracted. I know what he is distracted by, I thought. Now I felt a surge of determination for my mission now. I was sure that Jasper was laughing at the roller coaster of emotions that I had been emanating the last few minutes. I couldn't help it, I never wanted to read about Carlisle and Esme's _relationship_ again, especially not when it was broadcast on the internet to who knows how many people.

"Hello, Carlisle. I was wondering if you were busy right now, I know you had some paperwork to do but I had a question about a painting and Edward is busy," I said. I knew we were doing the right thing then. Carlisle had failed to pick up on my lack of nervousness or why I would bother him when he should be working.

"Sure, just lead me to the one you want to know more about," he said pleasantly. I watched him lay down his iPhone and walk out from behind his desk to follow me. I knew that Edward was the fastest, but I still hoped that his distraction would come soon enough. No matter how we had tried to change things, Alice always saw Carlisle getting distracted, or worse, hear something going on upstairs. The only solution was to have something else get Carlisle's attention before his mind begins to wander. We arrived at the painting that we had picked out.

It was by Casper David Friedrich, and was done in Germany in 1818 (A/N: link at the bottom of page). Carlisle explained that the scene was from a time when he was visiting a few of his nomadic European friends, after he had moved to America. His visit had been completed and he was on his way back to America, via a ship out of Copenhagen. While passing through Germany he noticed the stunning view over the sea that the cliffs held. Carlisle said that at that point he was contemplating his existence and if he would be alone forever. I knew that I had a specific mission here, but I couldn't help but get drawn into the story he was telling. This was a hundred years before he turned Edward. I could scarcely imagine what would have happened if he had decided to stay in Europe and not go back to America or if he had decided that his existence was doomed to eternity with the loneliness he must have been experiencing at the time. I fought back the shudder at the reminder of life without Edward as I tried to focus on how good this time actually was for me, because Carlisle must have realized that he didn't have to stay eternally alone. He would find his first companion exactly one hundred years later, and his mate three years after that (though he met her before).

I had momentarily forgotten my duty when I heard shouts coming from the living room. Carlisle and I looked at each other before going to find the source. Obviously Carlisle could hear exactly what was being said and by whom. I knew who it was, but I had to feign ignorance. In the living room there was quite a sight, which made me think that maybe Carlisle needed more distraction than we gave him credit for in our original plan. Edward was standing next to an overturned and broken chair that definitely was going to be replaced by a certain pixie who liked to shop. Rosalie was glaring at Edward with a stare that made me want to cower, and I knew what she was doing. Their shouts back and forth were almost too fast for me to catch, but I had learned to keep up a little after being around vampires so much.

"Like you know what is right!" Edward shouted.

"I know better than you. I have never left, do you remember that?" Rosalie screeched. Edward looked like his face was twisted in fury but before he turned around I could tell it didn't reach his eyes.

"Both of you, stop, now!" Carlisle shouted.

"Why? Does Edward not like hearing the truth?" Rosalie mocked. I could tell there was a meaning behind her words, and I wished I had Edward's ability for just a few minutes. I hoped he would be truthful with me when I asked, but I wasn't sure if Rosalie would want him to.

"Rosalie, you will stop now. Both of you calm down!" I was slightly worried when he mentioned calming down, I thought it was only a matter of time before he called Jasper. Edward was breathing heavy, like when he was upset, and I had to remind myself this was staged. They were glaring daggers at each other. Carlisle's eyes were darting between the two of them until he finally spoke.

"Would you like to explain what is going on? I have important things to get back to," he said. I practically had to hold my jaw closed. He was talking about his iPhone. That was more important than the peace of his family?! If I wasn't sure we were doing the right thing before, I was positive now.

"You might as well get back to it. Edward is just overreacting to the simple fact of himself and what he has done," Rosalie said. Jasper ran in from outside through the door in the kitchen. Carlisle gave him a look that said _it's about time_. An unneeded wave of calm swept through the room. If Jasper was in here that meant that their part of the plan was complete, and the iPhone would be back in his office. We had to hope everthing would work out now.

"Now that you seem reasonably calmer, would you like to resolve this?" Carlisle asked. He seemed impatient.

"There is nothing to resolve. What's said was said, and none of it was a lie," Rosalie said.

"What was said?" Jasper asked, appearing to want to resolve the conflict as soon as possible so nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"I simply told the truth," Rosalie said. "It's not my fault if he finds it unpleasant-"

"Both of you are getting ridiculous! Now you are fighting constantly and it is getting out of hand. Both of you go upstairs to your rooms right now," Carlisle said as he stormed away to his study. All four of us stared dumbstruck.

"Did that just happened?" I asked, hoping that I was being delusional. Edward could only nod his head, he was as shocked as I was. We somehow made it up to Edward's bedroom in the same stupor. Alice and Jasper were seated on the couch, as was Rosalie. Emmett was sitting on the floor at her feet and Edward had his back against the bed as I sat in between his legs leaning back on his chest. I started to say something, but Edward put a finger over my lips and pulled out his cell phone, and opened the instant messenger program that we used in situations like this, where we couldn't talk without being overheard. We all took the hint and did the same.

**Jasper**: We managed to have the crash staged for tomorrow, after he gets home from the hospital. 

**Bella**: Was there any problems?

**Edward**: None, unless you understood the things that he was thinking. I wish we could have this end sooner without him getting suspicious.

**Alice:** I know what you mean. You don't even want to know who he is following and what he says tomorrow. I looked for alternatives, but the outcomes get worse each time I try.

**Rosalie**: So, we are basically stuck with this thing that has taken over Carlisle for another whole day?

**Alice:** Pretty much.

**Emmett**: We could hold him down and make him listen to an intervention...

**Alice**: NO! If we do that, he decides to cut us off from the computers. I am still planning a wedding. I cannot lose the internet now!

**Bella:** Is that a promise? Will I get out of torture - er, planning - sessions if that happens?

**Edward**: Bella, love, you might want to quit right now. Alice is about to forcibly restrain you an make you let her take you shopping at the mall in Seattle and then play Bella Barbie for the rest of the weekend.

**Bella**: I'm sorry, Alice! Forget what I typed. I was obviously wrong and it isn't fair to belittle the work you have done. Oh, and thank you for getting Charlie to let me stay here this weekend.

**Rosalie**: Once you have quit groveling, Bella, we have things we need to worry about. How are we going to survive another day of this thing that is sort of attempting to imitate Carlisle?

**Jasper**: I think we should just stick with the plan. I know it is going to be hard, but it is better than the alternatives I have heard. I want to know more about what happened while Emmett, Alice, and I were diligently working on the elaborate set-up. What were you doing, Bella? What was going on in Carlisle's head when he snapped, Edward?

**Bella:** I just went in to ask Carlisle to see the painting that was picked out and I listened to him explain it.

**Jasper:** Bella, I know something else had to be going on. You felt scared, nervous, dread, then determination. You were up and down. What were you thinking?

**Bella:** Now you sound like Edward.

**Jasper:** First, that is mean. Second, quit stalling. What were you thinking when you confronted Carlisle?

Edward lifted me off of his lap for a moment as he ran quickly to the stereo, turned it on, and put a CD in it. He sat back down and put me back on his lap.

**Edward**: Sorry, Carlisle was getting suspicious that no one is talking or moving around upstairs. If we have music on it is a little less suspicious and he should tune us out. Oh, and Bella, love, I want to hear the answer to Jasper's question. Why were you feeling those things?

**Bella:** I was nervous and scared because I was going to be lying to Carlisle, then, I started making excuses and thought that I was spending too much time with Emmett, and then when I heard how Carlisle sounded and reacted, I was determined to do my part right to end this. 

**Emmett**: Are you insinuating that I make excuses? Are you saying that I lie to Carlisle?

**Everyone else****: **YES!

**Emmett:** I resent that. So much for my loving family.

**Bella:** I want to know what was said during Edward and Rosalie's fight. Anyone else?

**Jasper:** Yes. I need to understand those emotions.

**Alice:** Is that really a question? Of course.

**Emmett**: I would, unless it would make Rose mad.

**Rose**: Do any of you ever consider that maybe you weren't told because it wasn't any of your business?!

**Bella**: Wasn't I informed that this family has no secrets? 

**Jasper:** Go Bella!

**Bella**: Plus, I will eventually get Edward to tell me, and Alice will see him saying it, and I would tell her eventually, so it is really fruitless to not tell us now.

**Emmett**: I like this new Bella and all, but what has gotten into you, little sister?

**Bella:** I think it is something about this whole plan and secret mission! It is kind of thrilling.

**Edward**: It is not my decision to tell what was said. Also, I resent the insinuation that I would tell you everything just like that.

**Jasper:** Yes, you would, Edward.

**Emmett**: Face it, dude, you're so whipped! She isn't even your wife yet.

**Bella:** Quit saying that! I just meant that Edward loves me enough that he wouldn't keep something like that secret.

**Emmett**: Ya, because he's never kept secrets before. How about when you asked why he wouldn't go to La Push, right after you moved here. Oh, and the fact you had to find out he was a vampire on your own.

**Bella:** Those happened together. When was he supposed to tell me? When I found him trying to change classes the first day? Or right after he came back, a week later?

**Edward**: Plus it was kind of forbidden. We already know plenty about that situation. Its not my fault she is too inquisitive for her own good and she flirted to get the answers.

**Emmett**: Wow, Bella! I knew Jacob told you but I didn't know you seduced him!

Everyone was momentarily distracted from our conversation by an exclamation from downstairs.

"Oh, Miley! You have some of the wittiest comments," Carlisle said from his office. Our eyes all widened as we glanced around at each other.

**Bella**: Does he mean Miley Cyrus?

Edward closed his eyes and laid his head back against the bed. After a minute he raised it back up and nodded before opening his eyes.

**Edward:** Yes. He is following her on Twitter now. 

**Rosalie**: You have to be kidding me. **Carlisle** is following **Miley Cyrus**?!

**Alice:** Yes, unfortunately. He is also following Britney Spears and Perez Hilton.

**Jasper:** I think this is worse than we thought. 

**Edward**:I agree. It is painful to think that Carlisle is actually enjoying reading that stuff. It is like that iPhone has hypnotized him into sinking that low and there is no way we can save him. 

**Bella**: Edward Cullen, I know that you are trying to distract us from what we were discussing before. We want to know what was said, now!

* * *

A/N: The painting is called _Wanderer above the Sea of Fog_ by Casper David Friedrich and you can see a copy of it at http: //(dot)bc(dot)edu/bc_org/avp/cas/his/CoreArt/art/resourcesd/fri_wand(dot)jpg (just remove the spaces and replace the dot with a period). I'll also post a link on my profile.


	4. Carlisle's Depression

**AN: I don't even have an excuse for myself. More than four months is ridiculous. I am sorry, and I'm trying to finish this as soon as possible. This is a really short chapter, but it is more of a transition one. I am working on the next chapter as I post this, I want to get it finished before school gets picked back up again. Again, I apologize. **

**Disclaimer- No, I don't own Twilight. If I did, there wouldn't be a four month delay.  
**

**

* * *

****Jasper's POV:**

I couldn't believe what had happened, all because of one little present for Father's Day. A present that millions of people used without incident every day - of course, those people probably aren't three hundred year old vampire doctors. Regardless, it was still amazing how all of this had spiraled almost out of control. It was amazing, how something as seemingly harmless as an iPhone had almost destroyed the one that we knew as our father. It was a good thing that our plan was working out so well. The plan had been executed to perfection, it was now just a matter of waiting for everything to follow. After our we were finally able to get Edward and Rosalie to quit hiding the truth (with a little bit of a nudge from me), we decided that we should watch what further damage would be done before our plan finally succeeded.

Other than the disturbing fact that Carlisle really had invited the Volturi to join Twitter (and they accepted), it wasn't getting worse. That was until Miley Cyrus decided to delete her Twitter account. I had been sitting in mine and Alice's room, reading a book. Alice and Rosalie had kidnapped-er, taken- Bella to go look at something for the wedding (what's new), so it was just us boys, alone, with Carlisle, because Esme was at the Art Museum in Seattle for an exhibit. I don't think that any of us were warned before we heard a scream from Carlisle's office. All three of us were almost instantly at the door of his office, and then Edward opened it. Carlisle was sitting behind his desk, head in his hands. He looked like he was sobbing.

"Why did she do it? He can't be that important! Doesn't she care about us at all?!" he cried. Edward, Emmett, and I looked bewildered.

"Edward, what's he talking about?" Emmett asked, and Carlisle didn't even look up. Edward had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter account. I think that we need to go talk about this in my room," he said. We followed. I could feel Carlisle despair and depression, and it sickened me. I think Alice shouldn't be allowed to pick out presents anymore. Just as that thought came to mind, I got a text message that said, _Don't even think about it. -Alice _Meanwhile, Emmett was nervous, and Edward was in turmoil.

"What are we going to do?" Emmett asked. "This is even throwing me off. How am I supposed to make jokes when he is acting like that?! It's not funny!"

"We know that the phone will be breaking in just a few hours. That's all that we have to survive," I said, trying to sound hopeful, but it is really hard for an empath to be hopeful in a house full of depressed vampires. Since when was I appointed the positive one?

"Since you decided not to brood with us," Edward said. I rolled my eyes. I have a gift, too, and it's not like I went around annoying people like that. "Are you saying that unfairly affecting people's emotions at your whim isn't annoying?"

"Would you two have your little silent fight later, we have something much bigger to worry about!" Emmett exclaimed. Wow, Emmett was the one to stay on task. That means that this is BAD. Edward nodded in agreement.

"Sorry, Em. What do you think that we need to do?" he asked.

"I think we need to talk to Alice; is everything still going to work as we planned it?" Emmet asked. As he was finishing the sentence, my phone rang: Alice.

"Tell them that it is still going to work. The phone will crash in 17 minutes, and you guys need to do what you think is right from there. I know that you can handle it, just work together. It will be easy, trust me," my wife said.

"If you say so, Ali. I love you," I said.

"I love you, too, Jazz," she said, and with a click, the call ended. I knew that Edward and Emmett had heard the call, so I waited for them to say something.

"Well, I guess it's just a matter of waiting and winging it," Emmet said.

"Alice wouldn't let us fail at this, it's too important. We have to get Carlisle back," I said. I knew that the emotions coming from his office meant that nothing had snapped him out of it yet. Being a vampire meant that waiting always took longer, and even more so when it was something so important. For example, Edward had been waiting for his wedding since Alice saw a vision, right after the incident in Phoenix, even if he won't admit it. That thought received a guilty glance from my stubborn brother.

"I can't just sit here. We need to do something while we are waiting," Emmett said, always the one to break the silence. "I know, we can plan Eddie's bachelor party!"

"No, we will not," my other brother answered. "I don't need a bachelor's party; I have nothing about it to miss."

"You have been one for over a hundred years! You can't tell me that we won't do something, I mean, we are Cullens!" Emmett said. I just shook my head, I guess Emmett would never get it. He hadn't had the lonely years that Edward and I had. That doesn't mean he loved Rosalie any less, it was evident how much they really loved one another, I could tell, but there was something different about getting married as a vampire when you had lived alone for a while. I could feel Edward's agreement with my statement.

"Emmett, what did you have in mind?" I asked, exasperated.

"You don't even want to know, Jasper," Edward said.

"I'm sure he'll agree with me. It'll be fun!" Emmett complained.

"I think that he most certainly will not agree with you and that it is pointless to even ask."

"Are you scared that he'll agree, and we'll outnumber you?"

"I think that you should both quit bickering and let me decide if I approve or disapprove," I answered. This was ridiculous, we were all over 90 years old, but they still acted like they were 17 and 20.

"And you don't?" Edward asked, showing a perfect example of what I meant. "But it's true."

"I might, I was just referring to the situation. Now, what does Emmett have planned?" I said.

"I think that we should go to Mike-" Emmett began.

"Nope," I said.

"You didn't even hear the end of it!"

"I don't need to, I felt the emotions that you are giving off, and I know that those never amount to any good. My vote is no," I stated.

"It doesn't count! He didn't listen to it all, Edward."

"It counts, and you know it, so give it up. Don't try to protest, it will end up the same," Edward said. Emmett stood sulkily, looking away from us.

"Quit pouting, Emmett. It is two minutes until the big thing happens, and we need to be ready," I said. "Now, we are going to have to figure out the approach. Alice said that when the phone breaks, he would realize how ridiculous it all was, and everything would be okay. I think that Edward should, obviously, watch his thoughts, and give me the signal for when I need to help Carlisle believe us a little easier."

"I think that Emmett should do the talking," Edward said, to my surprise. "Carlisle won't suspect him as much, and we can stand outside the door so that he doesn't know what we are doing."

"You think that he would be suspicious of us?" I asked.

"He already thinks that we aren't helping him cope with the Miley disaster. He can come up with ulterior motives for both of us, but not Emmett. Trust me, Jazz."

"Fine, Edward. Emmett, I guess that means you are going to go talk to Carlisle," I said. A second later, there was a loud cry of "NOOOOOO!"


End file.
